OSU employee overcomes negativity, commits to healthier life

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Oklahoma State University employee Michelle Stewart identifies and overcomes her cognitive negativity to commit to a healthier life.

Stewart, an accounting specialist for the College of Engineering, Architecture and Technology, has spent the past eight years struggling to get on the right track toward a healthier lifestyle. While experiencing weight gain through her first year of marriage, childbirth and breastfeeding, she has participated in many fitness programs though the Department of Wellness.

Although she has seen progress through the years, it was not until her recent breakthrough in a Department of Psychology research project, COSMOS, that she was able to reach her full potential.

COSMOS is a cognitive behavioral therapy program for weight loss that involves weekly meetings for six months followed by several health evaluations. It helps participants recognize, accept and change their behavior to become mentally and psychically healthier. 

During a COSMOS session, in February 2017, Dr. Misty Hawkins, assistant professor in the Department of Psychology, noticed that Stewart was an anxious person. Completely surprised to hear this, Stewart met with Hawkins, who was able to identify her anxiety and suggest that Stewart work to treat herself better from a mental standpoint. 

“I had no idea I was so berating toward myself,” Stewart said. “After talking with Dr. Hawkins, I was truly able to see how mean and nasty I was inside my head.”

Stewart also began to realize that she only treated herself discouragingly, while she happily cheered on those who were heavier than she was. Though Stewart has never been too overweight, she’d treated her mind as if she was, especially during workouts.

 “I remember looking at myself and thinking, ‘This isn’t you,’ ‘You can’t do this,’ and ‘Why are you even trying,’” Stewart said.

Always battling her own thoughts when trying to improve her wellness, Stewart’s confidence and motivation was worn down, which made it difficult to fully devote herself to improving. Learning more about her cognitive behavior, Stewart was able to identify what she wanted to change.

“I remember having the thought, ‘Well, that’s stupid.’ But this time, I asked, ‘Why do I act like that toward myself?’” Stewart said. “So then, I just let all the negativity go. It was truly miraculous.”

Since that defining moment, Stewart has seen improvement among her overall stress levels, mental health and physical activity. She is able to recognize what is harmful thinking verses what is helpful thinking, and she attributes this success to OSU, the Department of Wellness and the Department of Psychology.

This semester, Stewart began the Cowboy Challenge program with five of her coworkers. Cowboy Challenge is a 16-week program that includes pre- and post-program health and fitness assessments, group workouts with a personal trainer and nutritional guidance. 

Working full time, taking classes, caring for a 3-year-old son at home and a son in college put real limits on Stewart’s time. Cowboy Challenge is just what she needed to accommodate her busy schedule. Finally, she is able to maintain positive, supportive thoughts helping her give the program her maximum effort. 

“Leaving that ugly, negative person behind has been completely amazing because I can get through these workouts, and I enjoy them,” Stewart said. “I can have fun, and I don’t tell myself I can’t do it. Instead, I celebrate the successes for myself like I always did for other people.”

Even though Cowboy Challenge ends in May, the trainers share the workouts with modifications for long-time use in the comfort of a home or gym. They also provide instruction on how to continue the workouts without the trainers and an overview of what that process looks like. Stewart said she does not have the time in her schedule to make trips to the gym, so she is grateful to have this tool.

While at OSU, Stewart has taken part in several wellness programs. She was among OSU’s first class in 2012 for Naturally Slim, an online, behavior modification program that provides skills and resources to encourage weight loss and health improvement. She also did Shape Up in 2016, a program designed to teach beginner-level workouts in a group-exercise setting. 

“I loved Shape Up,” Stewart said. “But it was much more of a struggle for me because I was still dealing with those negative thoughts, and it felt like I was carrying around virtual weight that I didn’t even know I had.”

After being scared of failure for so long, COSMOS helped Stewart have a more positive outlook and succeed at improving her wellness. 

For example, Stewart had repeatedly started the Couch-to-5K program only half-heartedly and sometimes ended up dropping it. Since overcoming her mental negativity, she has been running for 10 months, which is her longest for consistency.

“I no longer make excuses,” Stewart said. “Even during all the cold weather this past winter, I ran. I am more mentally capable to motivate myself.” 

Understanding the importance of a support system, a close friend and coworker, Beverly Fortune, has been motivating, encouraging and pointing out Stewart’s accomplishments, whether it is success with weight loss or her overall energy level. 

Due to a family history of Type 2 diabetes, Stewart is especially motivated to continue making wellness improvements in her life. Having been pre-diabetic before, she was proud to receive health assessment reports showing normal blood sugar levels for the past three years. Most importantly, she wants to set a healthy example for her younger son.

“I’m still a work in progress,” Stewart said. “I will keep building on my success. I have a mental picture of me being able to run in the yard with my child and not having to come inside because I’m too winded and saying ‘Mommy is too tired.’”

Dedicated to promoting wellness, Stewart has been an America’s Healthiest Campus Innovator since the program began in 2015. As an innovator, she provides tools, resources and support to encourage colleagues, friends and family to facilitate healthy lifestyles. At the office, Stewart started a standing desk challenge where she stands 40 hours a week. At home, she takes her family on hikes instead of going to the movies. Regardless of the environment, Stewart is constantly moving forward to become healthier, leaving her negative self behind.

Story by Michaela Gleason